-
In wireless communications, fading is deviation of the attenuation affecting a signal over certain propagation media. The fading may vary with time, geographical position or radio frequency, and is often modeled as a random process. A fading channel is a communication channel comprising fading. In wireless systems, fading may either be due to multipath propagation, referred to as multipath induced fading, or due to shadowing from obstacles affecting the wave propagation, sometimes referred to as shadow fading.
-Wikipedia.
On my way to work, I came across 95.9. It has been while since the last time I was there. What used to be so close suddenly felt so far. Still, I invited in the comfort and peace that filled inside.
As I keep driving, a familiar song is interrupted by static noises and slowly the music fades and changes to a different station.
This made me upset…because for once, I was trying again.
“Greater things have yet to come. Greater things are still to be done here…There is no one like our—-“
It fades and I can’t hear
Too many distractions and His voice is drowned out
Suddenly, I feel lost because too many things are happening at once. To escape this, I switch the station.
His voice is completely gone…but I continue to drive
-
I am in need of healing.
Physically, mentally, spiritually, I feel so damaged.
I walk about my days ignoring my problems when I know it is piling up right behind me. It follows my every step and even when I run it is not far behind. Every time I turn around the pile becomes bigger and it intimidates me even more…and so I continue to run. Pride keeps pushing me and Greed feeds the strength for me to keep running. I don’t know how to stop.
I’m scared that once I start fighting, my problems it will destroy me from all the pain and hardship it causes. I’m scared that I will continue to decay and in the end I will have nothing to start over with. I’m scared.
The longer I stay, the more I grow to love this idea of ignorance…and for that I fear as well.
-
sweet…home…
idk
this sense of familiarity comes with a mixture of grief and discomfort.
strange how things used to be and how things are like now.
how things could have been and how things should have been like.
home became a foreign place. It is no longer sweet and no longer longed for.
-
Because when times get rough and you start to feel sorry for yourself..you realize everyone else is going through the exact same thing.
Life is hard and it won’t show any mercy. Just gotta keep up, but don’t forget to breathe!
In some way, I take comfort in that I’m not alone…though it sure does feel lonely at times.
Who to complain to? Who to blame? No one but myself, and thats how lonely life can be.
trustdisappointment
moneyhardship
dreamcareer
parentsfamily
sorisorry
schoolsociety
lifeuncertainty
-
Another day has started and I feel already so far behind.
Room mates are coming back tonight…I have so much shit to clean. It’s actually a funny story how this interterm turned out to be. I thought I would be in grief and misery alone in this room, however, I have come to find that I enjoy a room to myself :) Don’t get me wrong roomies! I love you both like no other and I miss you guys dearly. I cannot wait to see you guys tonight!
Lately, I fell in love with a new hobby. Cooking.
I know, I know! It’s weird. I never liked cooking when it came down to my hungry stomach and trying to figure out what to feed it to stop its whining. But…I found joy in cooking for someone. Cheesy much? Shut it.. Just lovin’ the companionship that comes out of everyone, gathering in one place, to satisfy all our whining stomachs together.
My Problems/Concerns:
I grew this really bad habit of taking things (that aren’t mine) when I am…inebriated. I go into the state of mind: “finders keepers!” I have yet to take anything really big but I’m sorry that I took more than one bandages… I feel so bad especially because they are the expensive kind that comes with built in antibiotics. (Not to mention that they are water proof as well!).
I also need to stop eating so late at night. I don’t know if I have fallen into the 15 pounds range yet but I refuse to go on top of a scale. I don’t know what I would do…
My Goals/Aspirations:
I want to start taking pictures again. I got these new lens for the iPhone and have been playing around with it for a while. I believe it was a good investment. I need to start my photo diary.
I need to find a job/internship. I don’t know if that is possible with 18 credits this coming semester but it’ll be nice to do some physical labor apart from the mental meltdown I would be getting from school.
I want to decorate our room. It’s been too plain for too long. I might be a little late, but better late than
never.Every time I find myself updating my tumblr, it seems as if I have a endless list to go through because I rarely ever write anything. It has become too easy to just find a funny post by others and just repost it on mine. I guess I need to work on that too..
I need to read more. nuff’ said
When will I ever grow up?
I don’t know.
When will I learn from my repeated mistakes?
That is a mystery as well.
But for now, I’m just going to enjoy this day that has already started without me.
